By: Mirza Fareed Beg
We want to sail through life like a breeze and reach a position of comfort and secure standing; And this is naturally desired by all humans. What shall we do? We have to become cognizant of 5 negative attitudes that are demotivational for us and effectively learn to keep away from these negativities throughout our life.
And, the quicker we dump the following negative attitudes into the dustbin, the better it is for each one of us:
1. What are People going to Say (or Feel) about Me?
This attitude gets set within us due to our lack of self confidence, and it is one of the biggest inhibitors … for many people.
Do lots of positive self-talk; By incessantly thinking about the strengths, qualities, and achievements that we have — as blessings, the help that we receive from our Creator is constantly available to us especially to see us through our difficult times.
Our losses and mistakes (big and small) are simply learning experiences and stepping stones — towards long term progress.
So, instead of being overly concerned about the opinion of others, and look upon others nervously for approval of our moves, we draw strength from asking ourselves, ” Is my Creator pleased with me?”
2. I Can’t Do It.
This is negative thinking that directly and strongly puts a full stop on taking on challenges. We just prefer to stay within our “comfort zone”, which is the easy way out without having to deal with the new endeavors. This attitude is detrimental as it creates doubts in us. It provides a soothing basis to readily convince ourselves that we are just not equipped to handle the problem at hand due. We tell ourselves we are incapable or lack the capacity, or by not having the right or enough resources.
Be Committed to your ownself … Keep trying … Go all the way … Never give up.
There is always a way, and yet another way … Be innovative … Failures are learning to become all the more assertive and determined.
3. I am Not in the Mood to Do It.
This is quite a common phenomenon. The term that describes this aptly is “Procrastination”.
With so much going around us, important as well as our trivial pastimes that unless there is a compelling reason to do it or some kind of motivation, the mind just tells us to relax and:
– put it off for a later time
– not push for it; it will get done … eventually
Learn and Practice Discipline, as a “Way of Life”. Think that my time is coming. Think the Day of Judgement is around the corner and I must act NOW! I need to save myself. And I need to save my family. This will not happen if I keep procrastinating the good deeds for tomorrow.
4. I Don’t have the Time to Do It.
“Life is Busy”
There is so much to do at all times that we sure are busy. However, we should never be confused between Activity and Productivity.
This can be understood through the example of monkeys versus lions. Monkeys are highly active … even hyperactive, swinging from tree to tree. Lions, on the other hand, have slow moves, but well calculated for their kill — highly productive.
Wilfred Pareto has empirically determined the famous 80/20 Rule, which estimates that all through our lives, of all the things we do, only 20% of our time is used in productive efforts, and a whopping 80% of our valuable time is wasted in just activity, which results in misused or downright abused time.
Use Time Management wisely by applying the 80/20 Rule and by skillfully prioritizing our efforts into productive efforts (Urgent and Strategic), while discarding and dumping those actions that cause utter misuse or abuse of time.
Realize that this time will end and we need to utilize it wisely.
Allah (SWT) says in Surah Al Asr.
وَالْعَصْرِ ﴿١﴾ إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ ﴿٢﴾ إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ ﴿٣﴾۔
“By time, Indeed, mankind is in loss, Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.”
5. My Fate is Unfavorable.
“Not My Fault “
This attitudinal malady manifests in very conveniently shirking one’s responsibility of leading a productive lifestyle.
This is clearly hiding behind the erroneous thinking that “I could have easily achieved a lot, but destiny was unfair to me”. Because:
– I did not get the right Opportunities or Resources.
– there were Obstacles that are to blame for my failure/s.
- Procure Full “Responsibility”. Adopt an attitude of acceptance. Say to yourself, “Allah (SWT) willed this for me and so it is. Practice saying the following du’a:
رضيت بالله ربا وبالاسلام دينا
“I am pleased with Allah (SWT) as my Rabb, I am pleased with Islam as my Deen and I am pleased with Muhammad ﷺ as my Prophet.”
- Positively Use “Self-Talk”.
- Promote “Commitment”.
- Practice “Discipline”.
- Prioritize “Time”.
We should NEVER forget to seek Divine Help and Guidance. This is the key!